Review Week 1
Preview noch nicht online, trotzdem Zeit beim scheißen?
Mit dem Start der Saison 2023 gibt es zu jedem Spieltag eine Review vor der Preview. Verantwortlich sind die Kollegen von NFL.com, daher ist sie auch auf Englisch. Sorry Vikings!
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Kurzarmhemd Rangers Picks Up Win Against Shady's Sharks
Kurzarmhemd Rangers took advantage of 23.54 points from Patrick Mahomes (226 Pas Yds, 45 Rsh Yds, 2 TD/1 Int) and 13.40 from David Montgomery (74 Rsh Yds, 1 TD) to beat Shady's Sharks 79.04 to 56.06. Kurzarmhemd Rangers took a 36.94-point lead on Thursday and never looked back. Both sides failed to meet expectations, but Kurzarmhemd Rangers scored 85.7% of a projected 92.24 points to pick up the win. Kurzarmhemd Rangers starts the season in fifth place, while Shady's Sharks starts out in 14th place.
There was a player on both teams that had plenty of chances but left points out on the field. On the winning side, Jamaal Williams got 20 touches but only tallied 52 total yards, while Josh Jacobs managed just 71 yards on 21 touches for Shady's Sharks.
Kurzarmhemd Rangers takes on Einlauf 69ers (1-0, 72.32) next week, while Shady's Sharks gets shallow water pirates (0-1, 65.02).
49er Biceps Gainerz Gets Late Win over Schwabing Smithers
49er Biceps Gainerz (1-0) got the win over Schwabing Smithers (0-1) 90.24 to 85.72 in a matchup with four lead changes. Their top player was Tyreek Hill (215 Rec Yds, 2 TD), who had the highest score of the week. Schwabing Smithers took control first, up 52.52 to 14.20, after they racked up most of their week's points during the opening set of Sunday games. On the heels of an outstanding performance during late Sunday games by 49er Biceps Gainerz, they lost that lead and fell behind 74.14 to 61.42. As Sunday night's Cowboys/Giants game concluded, the lead switched hands again and Schwabing Smithers went ahead 85.72 to 74.14. However, 49er Biceps Gainerz recovered for the win on Monday night, with Breece Hall scoring 13.20 points during the Jets/Bills game.
Akers had plenty of opportunities for Schwabing Smithers, but could only manage 29 total yards on 22 touches.
Next week, 49er Biceps Gainerz plays Team 13 (0-1, 64.18), while Schwabing Smithers matches up with Vienna Deelers (1-0, 83.98).
Vienna Deelers Wins Against Team 13 with Joe Burrow Falling Flat in Defeat
With Joe Burrow falling considerably short of his projection in the loss, Vienna Deelers picked up a win against Team 13 83.98 to 64.18. Projected to register 24.12 points, the Cincinnati QB could only come through with 3.18 in a 19.80-point loss for Team 13. For the winning side, Russell Wilson (177 Pas Yds, 2 TD) led the scoring with 19.18 points, while DeVonta Smith (47 Rec Yds, 1 TD) added 14.20. Vienna Deelers (1-0) starts the season in fourth place, while Team 13 (0-1) debuts in 13th place.
Vienna Deelers gets Schwabing Smithers (0-1, 85.72) next week, while Team 13 faces 49er Biceps Gainerz (1-0, 90.24).
Toothbreak Titans Gets Late Win over Game of Jones
In an epic battle between this week's two highest-scoring teams, Toothbreak Titans came back to defeat Game of Jones 95.60 to 91.16. Despite the solid performance, the tough loss puts Game of Jones in ninth place to start the season. Toothbreak Titans has a lot to look forward to, beginning their season in first. Game of Jones didn't get much from sixth-round draft pick Brandin Cooks, who scored only 3.20 points this week. Jordan Love (245 Pas Yds, 3 TD) got 27.00 points and Stefon Diggs (102 Rec Yds, 1 TD) scored 21.20 points, exceeding their projections by 30.5% and 63.5%, respectively. Jakobi Meyers (81 Rec Yds, 2 TD) amassed 24.60 points to score 124.7% more than projected (10.95) for Game of Jones.
Toothbreak Titans gets Gabriels Gorillas (1-0, 75.34) in Week 2, while Game of Jones goes up against Morpheus Moonshiners (0-1, 71.92).
Gabriels Gorillas Rallies Late to Beat Morpheus Moonshiners
Gabriels Gorillas took advantage of 25.70 points from Aaron Jones (41 Rsh Yds, 86 Rec Yds, 1 Rsh TD, 1 Rec TD) and 16.50 from Rashid Shaheed (89 Rec Yds, 1 TD) to beat Morpheus Moonshiners 75.34 to 71.92. Gabriels Gorillas came into the Monday night game facing a 15.22-point deficit, but scored 18.64 for the comeback victory. Leading Morpheus Moonshiners, Austin Ekeler had 24.40 points (117 Rsh Yds, 47 Rec Yds, 1 TD) and Tyler Allgeier got 22.90 (75 Rsh Yds, 2 TD), both ranking highly overall this week. Both sides missed scoring opportunities as Gabriels Gorillas had one starter turn in zero points and Morpheus Moonshiners also had one. Gabriels Gorillas starts off the season in seventh place. Morpheus Moonshiners starts out in 11th place.
Gabriels Gorillas gets Toothbreak Titans (1-0, 95.60) in Week 2, while Morpheus Moonshiners faces Game of Jones (0-1, 91.16).
Tyrolean Rapids Pulverizes Jonni Browns, Establishes Early-Season Dominance
Tyrolean Rapids got the second-highest player score of the week from Tua Tagovailoa with 31.14 points (466 Pas Yds, 3 TD/1 Int), shredding Jonni Browns 88.74 to 46.84. Trevor Lawrence led Jonni Browns with 19.74 points (241 Pas Yds, 2 TD/1 Int) while Jahmyr Gibbs brought in 7.00 (42 Rsh Yds). Fifth-round draft pick Tyler Lockett was a disappointment for Jonni Browns, putting up 2.00 points. Tyrolean Rapids starts off the campaign in third place. Jonni Browns starts out in 16th place.
Jahmyr Gibbs ultimately deserved more touches for Jonni Browns, as he put up a whopping 60 total yards on just nine touches.
In addition to the fantasy victory, Tyrolean Rapids was savvy enough to pick winners in real life, as well. Among all of their starters, Justin Jefferson is the only one whose NFL team lost this past week.
Tyrolean Rapids gets Vaginia Riders (0-1, 53.10) next week, while Jonni Browns goes up against Woodworm Vikings (1-0, 76.16).
Behind a Sizzling Showing from Brandon Aiyuk, Woodworm Vikings Squashes Vaginia Riders
With the production from Brandon Aiyuk playing a key factor, Woodworm Vikings overwhelmed Vaginia Riders 76.16 to 53.10. In the 23.06-point triumph for Woodworm Vikings, the San Francisco WR went off for 28.90 points. He scored two touchdowns as part of his showcase performance (129 Rec Yds, 2 TD). To make matters worse, Vaginia Riders got zero points from Drake London. Woodworm Vikings (1-0) kicks off the season in sixth place, while Vaginia Riders (0-1) opens in 15th place.
Deon Jackson had plenty of chances for Woodworm Vikings, but he logged just 28 total yards on 18 touches.
Woodworm Vikings takes on Jonni Browns (0-1, 46.84) in Week 2, while Vaginia Riders gets Tyrolean Rapids (1-0, 88.74).
Einlauf 69ers Comes Back on shallow water pirates
Down 4.60 on Monday night, Einlauf 69ers came back, defeating shallow water pirates 72.32 to 65.02. Einlauf 69ers picked up 16.02 points from Jared Goff (253 Pas Yds, 1 TD) and 13.10 from Brian Robinson (59 Rsh Yds, 1 Rec TD). This matchup saw three lead changes, with the largest lead being 21.32 points after Sunday afternoon. shallow water pirates was led by Justin Herbert with 22.92 points (228 Pas Yds, 1 Pas TD, 1 Rsh TD) and Chris Olave, who scored 15.20 (112 Rec Yds). Third-round draft pick Zach Charbonnet struggled for shallow water pirates, putting up 1.10 points. Einlauf 69ers starts off the campaign in eighth place. shallow water pirates opens in 12th place.
Brian Robinson, Alexander Mattison and Javonte Williams had plenty of chances for Einlauf 69ers, but between them, they logged just 167 total yards on 34 combined touches.
In Week 2, Einlauf 69ers squares off against Kurzarmhemd Rangers (1-0, 79.04), while shallow water pirates goes up against Shady's Sharks (0-1, 56.06).